20241021 - 15:20
Why I was born I cannot say. But why I am alive - why I keep living. This I can answer. It is not because of her. She is not the reason I wake up in the morning, and she is not the cause of all that’s good in my life. When I suffer, she does not heal. When I am lonely, she is not where I find solace. When I reach out for something to depend on - she is not there. She cannot be. She never will be. She is not a place for refuge. I am alive because of my practice. It found me, woke me, and since then I am alive. When I falter, it sits patiently and waits for my return. When I am broken it supports me. I forget, I get confused, and I start to depend on other things. Like her. That’s when things fall apart. Practice - the only steady branch. Every day it teaches me to go forward. It’s the only reason for my life. Love, compassion, emotions. Clarity, reflection, truth. These it brings. These it nurtures. I know my path. It terrifies me, and I may not always see the next step. But the path - this I know. It will never change. I pray that it shall guide me forward, and I surrender.