20230829 - 14:48
This was certainly an interesting read. I did not want to like it, even from the start. The writing is quite bad and the editing is horrendous. A lot of the time it comes of as a guy bragging about his siddhis and telling unbelievable stories. My skeptical mind want to burn it with a very long stick - so that I wouldn’t have to touch it myself. With that said, and despite all of this, there is wisdom to be found within these pages. Its biggest impact for me personally was the personification of God, of deities, of spirits, as a way to connect with them, to come closer to that within yourself. It was very explicit in a lot of these ways. I’m not sure I can explain what this means, but read the book and you might find out. Also, its biggest point, the explicit focus on death. I’ve contemplated it before but never has it felt as real as here. It brings relief, and a willingness to actually try and face it honestly. Even if you don’t believe a word of it, it points as something much greater, and the intensity of what the path has to bring if you allow yourself to walk it truthfully. Certainly helpful once you get past the shock-value and all the rest of it. For instance:
“I would cook my rice in a fresh skull every day, without even cleaning out the bits of brain.”
There was also a big focus on love and compassion, which might seem surprising. This gives me great respect for whomever was the source.
Tantra and Aghora is perhaps an enhanced appreciation for motherliness … My teacher insisted that all males should learn motherly love. Tantra is the worship of the mother.
Once a moth, circling around a lamp about to make the plunge, spoke to the flame:
“What do you know of love? All you do is stand there as I whirl about you until I can no longer bear to remain seperated from you and I embrace you. And in the moment I embrace you I am consumed, burned into nothingness.”
The flame smiled and replied:
“You fool! Do you call that love? Look at me; I am burning. You burn only when you embrace me, but in my longing for you the pain of my seperation from you has transmuted me into fire itself.”
Another thing that has stuck with me is the quote “Pahile Pothoba, nantar vithoba” (or apparently more often written as Aadhi potoba, nantar vithoba).
.. Meaning that you should first make sure that your belly has been satisfied and only then think about going out to search for God.
In the end, I think this is the one thing Tantra has to teach us. Spirituality in any form is not a way to escape from life, to rid oneself of its hardship. Rather, it is to plunge deep into its waters, to come face to face with what it really means to be alive. The true renunciation can only come from within that depth, from within that deep feeling of love, of aliveness. Thus, that is, in fact, the often missed first step. To learn how to live. Finally, some closing remarks from the book itself.
Every morning when I wake up, I do three things. First, I remember that I’m going to die. This gives urgency to the way I will live that day. Second, I spend five minutes in thanksgiving to Nature for being permitted to live, to have this chance to experience, to learn, and to achieve. And third, I resolve not to cheat my consciousness during the day. …
And there is a practice which I follow every night before going to sleep. It is very simple, but it has helped me immensely, and it can help anyone who uses it. It involves only three questions.
Have I lived?
Have I laughed?
Have I loved?