230714 - Dancing

Today I enjoyed dancing. To music. Uncoordinated. In a room full of people. I actually enjoyed it.

Forget everything else. This is the real fruit of all my work. If nothing else, there is this. I’m slowly learning to let myself go. I feel proud. Content. Happy. It’s a beautiful thing. But who could understand? The weight I’ve been carrying around. The eyes of every person in the world weighing me down heavier than lead. The self-judgement has been so strong. I ache with compassion for where I’ve been, and for where I am today. But I’ve seen the light. I’ve seen resoluteness overcoming fear, shame, embaressment, and everything else. Simply having mindfullness of thoughts. The ability to recognize them as such is often all that’s needed.