230707 - Goodbyes - (Evening)

It’s funny. You try to put it into words and you realize it’s been written before. And back then it didn’t make sense, until it did. It’s like opening your eyes for the first time. Seeing the perception of seeing. Knowingly he sees.
“Reality is what’s left once you stop believing in it.”
Only we don’t know our own beliefs. That’s where we have to start.

Today felt like an ending. It was an emotional day. My 2 favorite teachers left. They’ve given me so much. I was not able to express that. I shyed away, knowing the tears would start flowing if I was too honest. There’s fear there, as if my gratitude would be unwanted, sentimental. This place is so transformative. So it was prophecised.
We talk about energy flow. It’s not abstract. It’s felt. And the opening, the vulnerability, the love. Wow. How can it ever be repaid? I only wish I can spread it further.
“It’s only Yoga. I just want to correct my posture, to get more flexible.”
Hah!
I see my hands simultaneously enduring. Currently they are writing. One of them, anyways. Where is the writer? Inside the pen, or hand, or the journal perhaps?
I see attachments forming. A bit different this time. I haven’t bonded closely with anybody in particular, but the place, the process, the community, the practice. This is the other part of traveling. Endless goodbyes. I guess it’s a good lession in impermanence.
I’m getting a cold. Apparently everyone does their third week. Funny how that works out. I don’t really talk about the day-to-days in my journaling. They’re not the point.
Every morning my first thought is:
“Wow I’m so tired was that really a whole night I need to sleep more tomorrow I’m going to bed earlier…”
and
“Ah, there’s the story again. Here’s experience.”

And I feel blessed. The breath permeates all activity. Gratitude is in all practice. With humbleness I walk the steps to the Shala in the morning. Sometimes the mountains are visible. There’s gratitude again. Beauty is forming.

Wow, I’m so tired. No meditation today. I wish you all a great day. Namaste. Good night.