230701 - Playfulness

Expansive. Carefree. Yesterday we went for a walk among the rocks. I walked barefoot (prophecy fulfilled) and got to jump around on the rocks and stones. To me, that’s the pinnacle of freedom. Just an innocent childlike happiness. It allows me to free my mind, to be myself. Now I feel more comfortable, having been reminded of myself. It’s strange, how we lose that. The tension disturbs, it clouds the sun. Existence attains a certain heaviness, it screams with an absurd demand to be taken seriously. So we laugh. The unbearable lightness of Being is the refusal to look Being in the eye, it’s the clenching that happens from the denial of life, from the fear to be hurt. But that’s not quite true. Even love, we fear. We deny its intensity, deny its genuineity. We hide from what is, too preoccupied with the idea that what we want, what we need, is somewhere else. But how could it? How could we ever step outside of ourself in order to go to that imaginary castle of fulfillment? Wherever we go, we are here. All that is, is here, within ourself. If only I could walk in someone else’s shoes. Hopeless wishes. The Mind is full of activity, jumping around, swinging from branch to branch. That’s alright. But we don’t have to get caught in its existence, we can stretch ourself enough to watch it with amusement. Gentleness and precision. It’s all we need. With gentle compassion I watch my neurosis, my negativity. With precision I notice my habitual patterns.

Knowingly he breathes in.
Knowingly he breathes out.

Filled with love, I let them be, and I free my mind from its chains. It expands into space, and stillness arises. Like waves in the sea, disturbances come, disturbances go. I come back to the center, time and time again. Eventually, what was once heavy as stone becomes light enough to float away. The clouds disperse enough to notice that everything is as it always has been.